


The Jewel Of The Sea

by CaeSkye



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirate, F/M, skulduggery pleasant pirate AU, the world is a great place, these two idiots in the middle of the ocean, what could go wrong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-26
Updated: 2013-09-26
Packaged: 2017-12-27 15:53:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/980799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaeSkye/pseuds/CaeSkye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So, we're magical people from 2013 on a pirate ship? Doesn't that seem a little strange to you?" </p><p>"It's probably not the strangest thing to have happened. Probably." </p><p>Crime fighting duo Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain can really only go downhill from here. Not only is Valkyrie's evil alter ego planning to destroy the world, but now thanks to a mysterious force that wants them both gone from the world, a time traveller has zapped them to 1694, the golden age of piracy, with Valkyrie memoryless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Time Traveller's Touch

**Author's Note:**

> im pretty sure the Skulduggery Pleasant fandom is the greatest thing on the planet, especially when they love the hell out of the idea of a Pirate AU.  
> Skulduggery on a pirate ship, who was I to resist?

The time traveller charged at Skulduggery, his fists gathered with a seething yellow light and the rest of his body humming dully.

“Oh,” Skulduggery said, his skeletal jaw opened and shut, Valkyrie hugged the ground, her arms tried to hold herself up but she fell down again, face slamming into the floor. Skulduggery groaned, “you hurt my friend.” He said, not an ounce of humour gracing his sultry, velvet tone.

“She was trying to kick me!” The time traveller screamed, Skulduggery jumped aside, and the yellow light slammed into a wall, it disappeared in a cloud of dust. The roof of the house tilted slightly. “Do you know how much this suit cost? One thousand dollars, a whole thousand. And she was just going to kick me. How am I supposed to know where her feet have been? She could’ve walked in mud, or worse.”

Skulduggery strolled towards her, keeping his gaze focused on the time traveller. His suit was gorgeous, Skulduggery did have to admit. The kind Ghastly would have made him, only this suit wasn’t made with material so black it shimmered, it was made with fabric which dulled under the light, turning matte. Thinking about Ghastly made his feet move a little faster, until he was standing directly over Valkyrie.

“It really is a lovely cut, quite flattering,” he mused, “Valkyrie, shame on you.”

“Thank you!” The traveller threw his hands up, no longer glowing a sulphuric yellow. “It’s nice to meet someone with a keen fashion sense.” He stroked his short hair, it turned brown under his touch, which left the majority red with few rebellious streaks.

“I’ve got quite the suit collection, we should admire suits together sometime. After, of course, you’re finished attempting to kill us.”

“Oh no,” The traveller shook his head, body humming again, “I haven’t got orders to kill you, just her.”

“you kill her, you kill me.”

“I would rather not, I’ve heard such great things about you Skulduggery Pleasant, the great detective. Sarcastic, amusing, great with the ladies." 

“And from whom did you hear that from?”

“No one in particular, I think I made most of it up.” The traveller stepped towards them, and Skulduggery prepared his hands in an attack, but the energy that was humming around the man now engulfed it. “You elementals will never learn, will you?”

Then he jumped. Skulduggery’s fist rammed into the man’s chest, but went straight through. When he tried to pull it back, he got stuck and ended up tugging the traveller towards him. The traveller threw his arms around the skeleton, in an embrace. It wasn’t forceful, as it was warm and full of the kinds of music Skulduggery would’ve heard from times before.  
Songs, pirates songs.

“No!” He called, he tried to turn his head to see Valkyrie, who was now on her feet and hobbling towards him, “Don’t let him touch you!”  
Then the time traveller allowed Skulduggery to sink into his skin, and turned his gaze on Valkyrie. He was gone, completely and utterly gone, but the traveller’s skin still hummed and his fingers still glowed yellow.

“Where’d you take him!” Valkyrie yelled at him, fighting every urge to hit him.

“Not sure, I think somewhere wet. Maybe a ship.”

“A ship?” Valkyrie stepped backwards. “Bring him back!”

“No. I can’t, even if I wanted to.”

“Bring him back now!”

“God you’re annoying... want a hug?” The man jumped forwards and Valkyrie dodged, but his fingers grazed her arm and she felt them stick, she fell, and he fell on her. Her body fell into his, her legs felt like they were kicking in an ocean, her fingers that were trapped under his body felt like they were trying to touch something midair.

“Let me go, now.”

“I can’t. It’s already starting. Oh, but I have a present from a certain doctor.” The man pulled something from his pocket, a cookie? Seriously. A chocolate chip cookie. He shoved said cookie into Valkyrie’s mouth and didn’t mean to bite it, but she did, it tasted nice too. But there was something else there, something in the corners of her vision, a darkness.

“What’s happening to me?” her throat felt numb, her memories felt out of reach.

“Just a little help to forget this world, if you forget it you can’t end it, right?”

Everything went black.


	2. Captain Thrasher

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg this is an unedited quickly wrote piece of shit that i will continue to love and write more of okay bye

The Golden Crown bobbed on the sea, the calm waters had been such for hours in the night, but still, Ramagold Jones leaned against a wooden box on the ship’s main deck. The moon glowed a pretty pale white light, and it shimmered against the sea like someone threw glitter into the ocean and let it spread.

Ramagold shoved his brown hair from his eyes, it was slick with oil and rain from the previous night that still hadn’t dried. His eyes were a bloodshot blue, his father had once told him that kind of blue showed the Jones family where they really belonged, sailing the seven seas. His grip on the whiskey bottle was tight as it could be without breaking it, he took sips every now and again, waiting for an opportunity to note down the changes in the ocean.

Something flashed overhead, like a lightning bolt but it was too close and it would’ve struck the ship if it were lightning. The fire of the Gods didn’t leave an opportunity to strike, this was different. There was something, something falling from the sky. It was white, and screaming. Bones, it almost looked like. Ramagold shoved his hands into his eyes as it thumped near the steering wheel.

“Somethin’ landed on t’ship!” Ramagold said, his indian accent making his words sound somehow regal, even though he had been tainted with years of pirate slang. He ran up to the ladder, climbing above to the ship’s next level. There was a skeleton laying on the ground, it had narrowly missed the wheel, Ramagold wondered if things could get impaled once they were in skeletal form, he itched his head.

He heard another scream, and covered his ears. A girl this time, wearing pants. He almost laughed as she fell from the sky, she clutched wildly at the air as she fell, screaming and writhing. The sails weren’t up, but still she clutched wildly at the fabric until her fingers found a holding. She lowered herself down slowly now, completely fine and no longer screaming.

She was pretty, a kinda of pretty that Ramagold hadn’t really seen before. Captain Thrasher talked about that kind of pretty, in the cities he’d visited and villages he’d pillaged. He’d always told the girls there they were beautiful, as he set fire to their homes and took their belongings, it always lifted their spirits.

She found him at the steering wheel, and she looked at him for a moment. He wished she knew him before his hair went oily and his father sent him off to become a member of Captain Thrasher’s crew.

“Are you the captain!” She yelled up. She sounded different, Ramagold hadn’t really heard that accent before. He panicked, there was a skeleton here, and she’d fallen from the sky. Maybe she was an angel. He didn’t want to lie to an angel. But would angels wear pants? He didn’t think they would, he hoped they wouldn’t. He wondered what would happen if he lied to an angel, he’d probably go to hell.

“No,” he settled. She shook her head, her pretty little angelic head. “What’s my name?” She asked, confusion plastering her face. He shook his head in return, there was so much head shaking happening - he sound probably stop. He stopped shaking his head and stole a quick glance to the skeleton on the ground, he hoped she hadn’t seen it.

“I don’t know,” Ramagold tried to think up a good pick up line. If Captain Thrasher was here he would’ve said something cool, something fantastic. Maybe he should wake him up and introduce this girl who fell from the sky, and sort out of the skeleton, “Me name is Ramagold.”

She screamed, it wasn’t a nice scream, it hurt Ramagold’s ears. He screamed back, unsure what else to do. When he turned around the skeleton was standing up and running around, it was wearing a suit. How had he not noticed it was wearing a suit before? It was an weird suit too, not even a nice one. A standing skeleton in a suit, he fainted.

“Valkyrie!” Skulduggery yelled, running down the ladder and towards her, she turned and sprinted to the other side of the ship. “Valkyrie, stop running would you?”

“Get away from me!”

“Harsh,” Skulduggery said, “we’re trapped on a pirate’s ship and you’re being nasty to me, that’s not very professional.”

“You’re a skeleton!” She stopped running and turned to look at him.

“I’m glad you noticed.”

“A talking skeleton!” Valkyrie started to shake, Skulduggery leaned against a pole and stared at her, she looked genuinely terrified, he couldn’t decide to be amused to worried about her, he settled on a mix of both.

“Valkyrie.”

“Is that my name?” She asked, then shook her head, “You’re a talking skeleton! I shouldn’t be listening to you! You’re an illusion, i’m positive. An illusion in a nice suit.”

“You like the suit?”

“The suit’s not important, you’re a talking, walking skeleton. You’ve got no flesh, and muscles, how do you even stay together?”

“Magic.” He said, giving her an eye roll. “Hey, Valkyrie. Would you do me a favor and try to move my hat here without touching it.” He pulled a crumpled hat out of his jacket and placed it in his palm.

“No, are you insane?”

“Jury’s still out on that one, move the hat.” She focused on the hat, thought about moving it but didn’t at the same time. This was crazy, a crazy talking skeleton asked her to move his hat and she was actually thinking about doing it! “Think of the air as a solid object, move it.” She focused on it a little harder, could you imagine? The hat actually moving, that would’ve been ridiculous. The air was solid inside her head, but it was just air. It was nothing special, but the hat moved. It flew across the deck and into the ocean.

“Good,” Skulduggery said, “you can still do magic, but you don’t have your memory. That’s a problem.”

“Magic? Memory, what’s happening here?”

“I think we’re on a pirate ship too, never been on a pirate ship before.” Ramagold jumped up near the steering wheel, saw Skulduggery talking and fainted again, all in the space of three seconds.

Another voice bellowed from a door behind Skulduggery somewhere, he tapped his collarbone almost instinctively and the face floated on top of his bones, giving him a face, his fingers puffed out with skin and the illusion of actually having a face was complete. Valkyrie fell behind him, he groaned, leaned down and picked her up.

“Intruder!” Someone in a really unattractive outfit screamed, he was short, almost too short, filled with a kind of rage and hate that almost stank up the air with a foul scent. “What are you doing on this ship! Get the Captain!”

“There’s really no need for that,” Skulduggery said, moving Valkyrie in his arms, “We’re unarmed, and here to cause no trouble.” There were belts and chimes coming from behind the door now, a different door. There was so much wood on this ship, Skulduggery wondered if he could set a fire and blow the whole thing up and fly away with Valkyrie. He looked down at her for a moment, her head lulled against his chest and her fingers resting against her coat.

The Captain walked out when Skulduggery lifted his head, he was a marvel of black and red and golden buckles, he worse a single gold chain around his neck but a huge pendant hung at his chest, thumping like a disembodied heartbeat.

“Who are you!” He said, opening his arms, Skulduggery glanced at the man and scowled. Skulduggery blinked at the man, it was Thrasher. It was actually Thrasher.

“Thrasher.” He said, growling. Thrasher let his eyes narrow, and then he heard the voice fully and smiled.

“Captain Thrasher, Pleasant. And Valkyrie, I see they got you too?”

“us too?”

“The Time Traveller, what a horrid man. Loved himself far too much if you ask me.”

“Thrasher, where’s Scapegrace?” Skulduggery asked, fixing Valkyrie around so her head stopped lulling backwards.

“Master?” Thrasher said, straightening his suit, “I don’t know. But I know that he got zapped here too, I am the Captain of the ship! This is my crew, we’re looking for him.”

“How’d you manage to become Captain?” Skulduggery asked, then stopped, “No wait, never mind. I don’t care.”

“They erased my memories, but I got them back. I would’ve got them back faster with my Master around, but I don’t know where he is. I miss him.”

Skulduggery nodded, “Your memories? How’d you get them back?”

“I thought about stuff and they came back. I thought about my master and they came back.”

“Damn.” Skulduggery felt Valkyrie shift and he put her down, she stood up eventually and stared at them both and then towards the group of pirates.

“We’re on a pirate ship,” She said, “and you’re not a skeleton anymore.”

“Facade,” he explained casually and shrugged, “we need to get your memories back. And get back to our own time.”

“Not me, no. I need to find Master.” Thrasher nodded, “And you’re going to help me.”

“No, we’re not.”

“You’re on my ship, I will decide what you do.” He took on a tone of authority so weak Skulduggery almost smiled at him, but didn’t. “You’re going to help me find Master.”


End file.
